I've listened to a new "Dive" CD which Angie sent me for the past couple of nights, and it seems to be working amazingly. "Spook" did a superb job. On the very first night I lay down in my position, arms across my stomach with my fingers entwined, and an earpiece in each ear. It was uncomfortable at first, I was aware of every motion my body made. I had fasted that day and everything was more vibrational than usual. I could feel my heart, and it pumped away and I swear I could sense the blood whirling around and around and it made me squirm. And then my face, it became almost like it was in paralysis. At first I just had itchy spots, but I scratched them and soon came to realise I would have to endure them because I would ruin the whole thing. So I left the right side of my face to itch with such temptation. It was almost impossible to let it slide, but I left it and it soon spread down to my chin and around to the left side of my face too, and this is when I would most like to describe the sensation as paralysis. The CD was on the second track out of three now, and all of a sudden LOUD bells began chiming, and I knew they had been put there for an intelligent reason because I stopped drifting off to sleep and my consciousness snapped awake, and white patches began to form, like drifting tides, flowing back and forth before my very closed eyelids. There should have been more bells because unfortunately, regretably, I fell asleep.

Last night I could conclude more of the same, although no itchy nonsense before it all begun. Once again the bells snapped me awake at the very right moment, and I shall try again and again every single night until I get it fine-tuned and perfect. I awoke at four AM the first night but last night had the most strange dream. There appeared John Cusack, acting almost movie-like. I couldn't tell if I were in a movie or not. But he creeped and slid around this huge building, and I sensed it was one of the world trade centres. It was dark and derelict and surrounded by a peculiar grey mist. There was a lady with me and I took them through the building next door to this trade centre, where we stood peering at it from the back door of this building we were in. I think I said "I bet you can't hear anything." or "I bet you won't expect this to happen." and just as I had virtually expected, the building came tumbling down but, unlike the trade centres, it crashed like a domino, falling entirely to one side like a tall, thin tower. This is always how I imagined buildings would fall down. I awoke with a hatred of planes, and structures, and all man-made things.