Withdraw Retreat.

Strange. Strangely abnormal to myself, what is normal for everybody else. Morning pill, afternoon of bliss, night of carelessness. Don't miss one. You might not make it out alive. I figured out that I needed them, God knows where I would be without them at this moment in time. My only worry is that my Citalopram ran out this morning, on a Saturday. The earliest I will get a repeat prescription will be Monday. I remember the last time i missed one and the hell that unfolded. I need them to stay within the walls of reality. They are bliss. They put me to sleep like a dying dog. A sleep so peaceful I do not even hear my alarm. Half gone from 9AM to 9PM and I yawn as I type. Some common and uncommom side effects include no appetite, unexplained muscular pains, delusions, hallucinations, increased desire for sex, dizziness, nausea, fatigue. Inability to drink large measures of alcohol (Which is not advised anyway.) I witnessed all. Above all else, they help me deal with some of the incomprehendable bullshit people in my life happen to throw at me. I feel hate, most recently. Hate for the people I am "supposed" to love. For the last week or two I have felt more like an unfinished book. Promises prescribed in the heat of the moment never quite came true. Does love flower, grow, flourish? Or even exist at all? I cannot allow myself to say anything apart from the fact that I am a fool of great proportions. Anything more would land me in great spots of bother. For now, I am a puppet with a rebellious mind. I am more tolerable of people. I'm not sure if I am comfortable with it. There's no pride, nothing to distinguish myself with, nothing to cling to. At least I can always say I am not fat. I met somebody who shares my passionate dislike of fat pigs. Their supreme stores of flesh are representative of two things and two things only. Gluttony and greed. Who could fall for someone who spends so much time pleasuring themselves with danger.

White Lies

Standing
Another comatose pill
Another tough Monday drill
I hear what no one else will

Staring
Five hundred birds haunt the sky
A freedom forced you to fly
A navy world from God's cry

Braindead
Tempestuous eyes now stem deep
The joy of making you weep
A hatred I long to keep

Sadness
Believe the truth, it will go
As rage inside steals the show
And comfort won't have to know